the first love i’ll have
will be golden and sparkling
like fresh champagne,
bubbly and sweet,
but no high is everlasting.
the first love i’ll have
with its bright eyes and dishonest smile
will tell me that i’m pretty
and dress up like a funhouse mirror for halloween,
but you have to learn when your reflection is lying.
the first love i’ll have
will have a voice like gentle honey,
hands as soft as fresh sheets
but a heart like rough sandpaper,
soul like tough meat,
and appearances can’t always be trusted.
the first love i’ll have
will be kind and charming and sweet
until its skin mottles and its breath curdles
and it sighs its poison into me and i break,
but the step after exposure is resistance.
the first love i’ll have
will not love me back, and that will be okay,
because by the end of it all
i will have learned
to love myself anyway.
