Bad Habit

Photo by Adriano de Gironimo on Unsplash

I have this bad habit of staring at my phone.
Or checking it 20 times a minute.
It’s not that I’m expecting it to light up.
Just wishing.
I’ve been wishing since you told me you’d text me.
That was a week ago.

I find myself rereading old messages wondering where I went wrong.
I can’t find anything,
So maybe someone told you something about me?
Or maybe your phone was stolen
Or got taken away
You always did have a bad habit of not being on time.
Or maybe your dog died
Or your grandma
I wouldn’t want to text someone then either.

I saw you opened my text a few hours ago.
Did you forget to hit send and now you’re sitting like me, waiting?
That’s okay though, I understand.
I do it too.

I have a bad habit of checking my phone
I know your name won’t be there.
Was I being too clingy?
I’ve been told I have a habit of that.
When it lights up and it’s not you,
I go through the same mental struggle.

Finally when I’m least expecting it
During dinner
The vibration rattles the table like you did my heart

Hey.
Shaking I quickly type, hey

What’s up?

Wondering why you took so long to answer

Nothing much you?

Same

Before I can ask anything else you say

I gtg, txt u later?

Sure
And the cycle starts again.

About Lily Burke 458 Articles

Lily Burke is a sophomore at Clayton A. Bouton High School and a frequent contributor to the magazine.