Page 15 - BBR_fallwinter14

“Just things. Now sit down and eat your pancakes.”
Mommy was acting so strange. Mommy always loved coach- ing my team. I didn’t understand. My lip started to quiver and my eyes started to water but I didn’t cry. Big boys don’t cry.
Later that morning I decided to talk to Hazel about it.
“Hazel, Mommy said she isn’t coaching my team this year.”
“But Mommy always coaches.”
“I know and I asked her why and she said she had ‘things’ to take care of.”
“Probably grown up things. We wouldn’t understand them. One day when I’m a lady I will.”
I gave up on trying to talk to Hazel. She was too busy with her tea and ‘lady stu .’ I decided to talk to Daddy. As I walked over to him the grass clippings stuck to my bare feet. The smell of freshly cut grass always made me happy.
As I got closer he shut of the mower and took o his sweaty shirt. One thing was certain, Daddy was smelly.
“Hey bud, what’s up?”
“Mommy said she isn’t going to coach softball this year.”
“Oh right, yeah I’m sorry about that buddy.”
“But why?”
“Just some stu going on. Don’t worry about it. Now go and play.”
It seemed like no one was going to give me answers. I would just have to gure it out on my own. I grabbed some of my action gures and climbed under the porch. I heard Mommy come outside and I tried very hard to listen to what was going on. It sounded like she was on the phone with someone.
“Yes Doctor, I understand. Yes. Thursday works for me. Okay, see you then.”
I heard the phone fall onto the porch. For a minute there was complete silence. Then I heard Mommy break out sob- bing. Daddy ran over from the mower. I tried to gure out what was going on but before I could gather any information Mommy and Daddy ran inside and the sliding glass door was shut.
~
Shaking, sobbing, scared. I held my wife close. We both dreaded this moment. What was I supposed to do? I was pretty much useless. There were no words to be spoken. My mind was racing like crazy. I couldn’t do anything but hold her close to me. In a weird way I cherished the moment since I didn’t know how many more of them there would be. I had no clue what I was going to do. I didn’t know how to pack the kids lunches. I didn’t know how to braid Hazel’s hair. I didn’t know a thing.
“So what exactly did the doctor say?”
“He said that it came back positive. I’m screwed. It has spread too far. They didn’t catch it in time. Is this my way of being
punished? What did I do wrong? Is it because I failed as a parent to Maggie? We were so young then. What were we supposed to do?”
“I don’t think you’re being punished. I don’t know why this stu happens.”
I wished it wasn’t her going through this. I would gladly have switched places. I could hear the kids coming inside. Their innocent feet dragged mud all through the living room. Hazel was holding her teddy bear close and Bubba looked at us with wide eyes.
“Mommy, why are you crying? No one should be sad this time of year. It’s almost spring!”
Cathy wasn’t able to answer. She barely even looked at them. The breeze gently blew the curtains. I thought back to this time last year. Oh how things were di erent. We were all out- side planting the garden. Maggie was home. We didn’t have a death sentence in the family.
“Look kids, why don’t we go and get some pizza.”
“Mommy, aren’t you coming?”
“Mommy’s gonna stay home tonight kids. Come on let’s go.”
I grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall and kissed Cathy bye. We got into my old Chevy and drove towards the town’s local pizza place. As we drove my mind was racing like crazy. For once in my life I had no answers. Up ahead a few cars were stopped, surrounded by smoke. As we got closer I could see that there was a car that had ipped upside down and was smoking. I quickly got out of my truck and ran to- wards the car. The re company and ambulance had already been called. The smoke lled my nostrils and was su ocating me. There was an elderly lady trapped in the drivers seat. The other people who had stopped were trying to pull her out but were ultimately failing. As I got closer I could see that she ap- peared calm.
“Damn it! The door is locked!”
14
The Blackbird Review
The young man was becoming even more furious every time he tried to open the locked door. I grabbed a rock from the side of the road and threw it at the window. The glass instant- ly shattered. I reached in the car and tried to pull her out. I could feel the glass slicing open my skin as I worked. After much struggling I nally managed to pull her out. She was
in shock and seemed to be in a daze, probably from all the smoke. In that moment her car caught on re. The heat com- ing from the ames was unbearable. I moved her towards the other side of the road where the heat wasn’t as intense. Her face was all bruised and she had scrapes all over. I wasn’t sure if she was responsive until she nally muttered something.
“My boy, do you know what season it is?”
“Why yes,” I replied, shocked that she was asking such a trivial question, “it’s spring.”
“Exactly,” she answered, “Spring is when everything grows. Everything comes back to life. It’s a beautiful time. And what’s even better is that spring will always come. No matter what happens spring will always come. I may not be here but spring will. The world could encounter tragedy after tragedy, but spring will always come.”
“But why are you telling me this?”